Hard but essential pills to swallow in order to become your best-self

Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

Ambitious people are a dime a dozen. Most people doubt themselves. All of us — in some shape or form — are stuck in la la land.

One of the most difficult yet useful skills is the ability to balance your aspirations with reality. A pessimist and an idealist both miss the point.

The point is to have optimism about your future but look at the state of society, your environment, and your circumstances without rose-colored glasses.

Many of these truths sit right under your nose. Intuitively you know they’re true, but facing them head-on means discomfort.

Success or failure…

#1. How they treat service staff

Photo: jeffbergen/E+/Getty Images

Learning how to read people is a psychological superpower, but it’s also a skill that anyone can pick up. It’s possible to glean a ton of information about others simply by paying attention.

Ever since I started writing, I’ve been honing this skill. It’s not a hard and fast science — everyone has off days. But staying aware of a few patterns can help you find people with great character — and shape the person you may wish to be. I look for these eight subtle clues in my interactions with people to understand who they really are.

The way they treat service staff

The way…

Photo by Fab Lentz on Unsplash

Why do we love life quotes so much?

I think I have the answer. Life quotes have a way of piercing through the b.s. and noise surrounding us. Life quotes are the swords that cut the Gordian knots of noise and reveal the essence of life we know deep down but tend to forget.

I’m a writer, which means I love quotes. But I also understand how simultaneously insightful and useless they can be. You can do one of two things with a quote — use it as inspirational fluff to post on Instagram or use the insight to change…

Photo by Lauren Mancke on Unsplash

Learn to work deeper.

I’m going to piss you off a little bit, but it’ll be for your own good, ok?

Do you want to know why you’re not getting the outcomes you want in life?

Want to know the real reason why you don’t earn as much as you think you deserve, find yourself in a position you don’t like, or just feel like life isn’t giving you a fair shake, in general?

It’s not because you don’t have talent. You do. It’s not because you don’t work hard. Most people work extremely hard to take care of themselves and their families. …

Photo by Morgan Housel on Unsplash

I told this story in my book. Roughly six months before I broke the income barrier I needed to pave the path to quitting my full-time job, I was dead broke. A weekend of buying my kid a few fish and going to Chik Fil a put my account in the negative.

Even though my side hustles were bringing in money, I had bills up the you know what. Don’t care if it’s politically incorrect. For me, as a man, it felt horrible to feel like I couldn’t take care of my family.

Throughout the process of building my career…

Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash

But I will

We’re both in a weird position.

In your case, you want to improve your life, but you’re also skeptical of self-improvement because of the hyperbole in the space.

In my case, I write articles giving people advice when I’m a flawed human being.

Even admitting your own flaws has become another self-help trope.

So what’s the solution?

Simple. Take what you want, discard what you don’t, and keep it moving. Read the articles you want to read and ignore the ones you don’t want to read.

You’re smart. You’re an adult and you can make your own decisions.

As far…

Photo by Zoran Zonde Stojanovski on Unsplash

Forgive yourself and move on

I wish there was this magic tool that showed you how much time you’ve spent thinking about the past. About the things you didn’t do but wanted to do. About the things you did but regret doing. That endless movie reel where you go over the different scenarios about how your life could have turned out had you done the right thing or not did the wrong thing.

Then, I’d love to have that number visually represented in some prominent area of my home so that I could look at it every single day. Maybe then I’d understand the full…

Photo by Agnieszka Boeske on Unsplash

Success begets more success.

“For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away.” — Matthew 12:29

The rich get richer. The poor get poorer. When you achieve success, it’s easier to repeat your success. When you already have money, you can borrow more and invest it. If you’re already confident, you expect good things to happen to you, so they do.

You pay a penalty for losing. The bank charges you overdraft fees for being broke and you take out predatory loans that…

Photo by Yura Fresh on Unsplash

Become productive again

I call it the habit death spiral.

You’re in the process of trying to form good habits, reach a long-term goal, and/or maintain the good habits you already do have. Things have been going well for a while until you reach that fateful day.

Diet and exercise is the obvious example here. You got the routine going a little bit, but then one day you just don’t feel like going to the gym, so you don’t go. You have Tupperware filled with your prepped meals, but you order some takeout instead.

Normally, you’d be at the gym right now, but…

Avoid these insecure behaviors

Photo: Edward Howell/Unsplash

That’s all you want. You want to feel deep confidence in your core. When you have true confidence, you have full security in who you are as a person.

Confidence has many contexts. You feel better about yourself the more confident you are as a whole and you feel more confident as a whole by being confident in more areas of your life.

You want to feel like you can handle anything. I titled this post things confident and secure people don’t do for a reason.

Often, we show our insecurities through our actions. When you have confidence, you’re non-reactive…

Ayodeji Awosika

Learn how to become a top Medium writer and make a living writing here — https://bit.ly/freemediumcourse4u

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store