Hard but essential pills to swallow in order to become your best-self

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Ambitious people are a dime a dozen. Most people doubt themselves. All of us — in some shape or form — are stuck in la la land.

One of the most difficult yet useful skills is the ability to balance your aspirations with reality. A pessimist and an idealist both miss the point.

The point is to have optimism about your future but look at the state of society, your environment, and your circumstances without rose-colored glasses.

Many of these truths sit right under your nose. Intuitively you know they’re true, but facing them head-on means discomfort.

Success or failure…


#1. How they treat service staff

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Learning how to read people is a psychological superpower, but it’s also a skill that anyone can pick up. It’s possible to glean a ton of information about others simply by paying attention.

Ever since I started writing, I’ve been honing this skill. It’s not a hard and fast science — everyone has off days. But staying aware of a few patterns can help you find people with great character — and shape the person you may wish to be. I look for these eight subtle clues in my interactions with people to understand who they really are.

The way they treat service staff

The way…


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Why do we love life quotes so much?

I think I have the answer. Life quotes have a way of piercing through the b.s. and noise surrounding us. Life quotes are the swords that cut the Gordian knots of noise and reveal the essence of life we know deep down but tend to forget.

I’m a writer, which means I love quotes. But I also understand how simultaneously insightful and useless they can be. You can do one of two things with a quote — use it as inspirational fluff to post on Instagram or use the insight to change…


Just do a few simple things really well

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There’s no shortage of productivity advice on the internet. There’s almost too much. From complex filing systems like Getting Things Done to productivity apps like Evernote to “hacks” like the “Pomodoro Technique,” there is an endless number of productivity tips. In our rush to be uber-productive, we get overwhelmed.

We don’t know which routine to follow. We spend so much time thinking about these systems and trying to set them up that the process of trying to be productive can quickly become counterproductive. Robert Greene talks about this problem and dubs it “Tactical Hell.” …


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Is the chase for success worth it?

Why focus on getting good outcomes in life, at all?

Why focus on being great?

Instead, why not just be content with what you have right now?

I’ve had this debate in my head back and forth, but I always lean to the side of trying to become great at something and, yes, getting the worldly rewards that come with it. But why?

There are just certain lessons about life you can’t learn until you try to become great at something. Most of us go through life thinking about our potential.

Does a day go by where you don’t imagine…


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I put quotes around the word “truths” in the headline because who the hell knows, right?

When I say truths, I mean what’s true to me and what seems to be true across time for many many people.

I put the word ‘can’ in the headline instead of ‘must.’ Why? Because you can do whatever the hell you want with your life. It’s your life. These are suggestions.

In general, you’ll end up defining what life means to you. While there’s no objectively right way to judge your life, there are some subjectively wrong ways to do it. …


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Stop thinking, start doing

“You can wish in one hand, and take a dump in another, see which one fills up first.” I saw someone say that in a YouTube video once. He used a more vulgar epithet than ‘take a dump’ too. Look, sometimes it’s important to hear that no amount of wishing is going actually make anything happen. Eventually, you’re going to have to start doing something.

You just have to cross that annoying barrier. I still have to cross it on the days where I have all these fantasies about what I’m going to accomplish and waste time thinking about doing…


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From ancient philosophers, productivity experts, and entrepreneurs

When I look at the world, I see a world full of people who want to level up their life. As much as self-improvement gets a bad rap, that desire to improve will never go away. You can try to pretend like you don’t want to improve. You can convince yourself that success is reserved for the lucky few. But, in the back of your mind, you’ll always wonder.

Could you do more with your life if you put your mind to it? Does your life have to be the way it is right now or can you change? …


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Your beliefs are a bet on your future

We’re in a war of ideas. Everyone wants their ideology to be right. At one point, I used to care a lot about whether or not people shared my worldview. But now? I’ve come to a realization. The truth will show up in our results. We don’t have to argue about anything. I’ll live my life based on my beliefs and you live based on yours. Let’s see what happens. Let’s see who gets what they want and who doesn’t.

You can think whatever you want to think and have whatever beliefs you want to have. I have strong convictions…


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Avoid these “people-pleasing” behaviors

You’re alone. Cold. Hungry. Abandoned. You said or did something to offend a high-ranking member of your tribe. Your life has been nothing more than a pure fight for survival. And now, because you made the slightest of gaffes, you just cost yourself your life.

It takes a group to hunt and protect itself from wild animals and warring tribes. It takes group protection to allow you to do the thing your brain was literally built for — to pass your genes onto the next generation.

Think about that for a second. Think about all the things a social slip-up…

Ayodeji Awosika

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